''Sonic Couch Tats'' is more like it...

Sonic wants you to stuff your kids up with their chemicals - and, as a consolation prize perhaps, you can bring home an overpriced piece of stuffed over-hyped super-hero schmuck fluff!

Whattadeal, folks!

Your choice, your pick: Superman, Flash, Aquaman, Plastic Man, Supergirl, Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Bizarro (!) etc...

And TRADING CARDS are available, too! Sheesh.

These sort of odd partnerships -and odd ideas for promotional stunts and collectibles resulting from it- have been seen before: the only true question here is why Sonic and not McDo, BK or the like?

Dairy Queen and the Bee Queen, with Catwoman cleverly tied in, would have been more natural.

Lindt dark chocolates, hawked by a darker Hawkman and Darkseid too.

Aquafina auctioned off by Aquaman, Mera and Naiad - for those hot dehydrating summer days, anyone...?!?

Martian Manhunter shoving those Oreos down everyone's throats...!!!

I could go on and recite, once again,
my all-time favorite example of these natural pairings
(Wonder Woman and Wonder Bra)
but I would be repeating myself then...
Let's avoid redundance - at least.

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As you can see, it is not the mercantilism that annoys the most in these instances - it's the lack of logic in the choices that were made. Such as ''why include Martian Manhunter and not Green Lantern or that God-damn BattyMan again?!?'' but mostly such as ''why not pair up the right products with the right characters that make sense there...?!?''

Batty would be pushing Prozac in no time if such a logic was meticulously followed.

Or Ritalin.

Maybe Cialis and that other, far more famous blue pill, too...
But that's another story.
Let's not go there!

Cartoony & the Lackey finally split...

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have officially separated... 
We would be sadder if it was Schnookums & Meat, Sylvester & Tweety or Tom & Jerry that this was all about - suffice it to say!
What is funny about it is the media setting them up against each other already - in the "post-break-up race to see who will be more successful after separation" - sheesh!

"Simpson's star status has begun to outshine Lachey's. She played Daisy Duke in this summer's hit movie "The Dukes of Hazzard," and she endorses "Dessert," a beauty line that includes flavored body creams. Lachey, whose solo album has had disappointing sales, appeared in some episodes of the sitcom "Charmed.""

Charmed... is a sitcom? HA! I never liked that crap anyway... But no; witches are neither funny nor amusing; just ask Sabrina The Teenaged Witch's BLACK CAT! But now, they will not let Lachey guest-appear ever again (he obviously is no good for the show's rep - the erstwhile TV Time Cop should be brought back instead... but that is another story.) - and, of course, Simpson will NEVER have a guest-shot on that show either... Ditzy witches three stand no chance against Daisy Duke. (For the record, however, the one and only REAL Daisy Duke is... Catherine Bach. A brunette. An older woman. A MILF? Anyways... Cat is not to be confused with Barbara Bach either - but that's another story!)

Of the erstwhile pair, we retain several... absurd moments. That cat food thing - it probably gave birth to the ''meme'' right there. That's one thing Ditzy Cartoony Jess and her Lackey can take credit for - at least! Hurray... Now rumors abound (see the lunacy blog!) that Mad-Onna wants to latch on her lips onto Simpson's for her next scandalous display... HA! ''NO ONE WILL TOUCH THESE LIPS AFTER NICK, NO ONE!'' could retort Jess, genuinely... before realizing what she has just said, like, two days later. *LOL* Ahhhhh... blondes. 

As for Nicky now (not to be confused with Little Nicky; just a note from the future here - carry on!) he would have been better off with the other Simpson, we think... No, not the little sister Ashley, pre-nose job; NO! Perish that sick thought!!! (Ashley Simpson was at her best before the nose job, though - that is no lie! Sort of a Meg Ryan or whatshername from Dirty Dancing - she never should have done it! But that's another story... once again!)

Nick... should have hooked up with Lisa Simpson - of course! A smart blonde for a change (how unrealistic is that, I know; it is only a toon and a very sucky one at that...! But I digress!)

The saddest part of all this mess though: Dukes of Hazzard is reputed to have been a ''summer hit movie'' in 2005... What horrible times we live in, folks! 

Oooooooo...!!!

So close... no matter how far?!? 

(You're not gonna sue over this use 

of your most precious lyrics now, 

you no-good, two-bit HACK 

from Lord Knows what hellhole... 

huh... JAMES??? 

Yeah - I mean YOU; 

METALLICA MAN!!! 

I hate you -and your cronies'- GUTS...!!!
Oh yeah - I hate you SO MUCH; 
you will always be unforgiven to me 
ALWAYS AND IN ALL WAYS! 
YEAH! 
You ungrateful blasted WRETCH! 
WE GIVE YOU ENOUGH DOUGH 
FOR YOUR LOUSY SHOWS 
and blasphemous albums also - 
MORE THAN ENOUGH! 
You just shut your yap 
when we want to share that crap around 
OKAY?!? 

HAR-HAR-HAR... 

Metallica sux anyways! 

But that's another story!)

It's 24 hours removed from 

ALL-HALLOWS' EVE...

And then there's All-Saints Day 

(not el dia dos muertes - ya ninny! 

Go back to Puerto Rico - stronzo!) 

AND THEN... it's the 

dreaded Day of the Dead. 

Uh... That's another story too! 

So let us take this opportunity tonight 

to take it easy... relax... and 

BURN SOME CD's 

AGAINST THE ARTISTS' 

WISHES! 

BWAH-HA-HA!!! 

No, no - just kidding here... I swear! 

Not doin' nothing here...!!!

I ssswear...!!!

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#fuckSOPA

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