the ludicrous blog


Monday, April 28, 2014

Donuts... Awaaaaay!


I can't believe this stuff sometimes...

The ludicrousness writes itself up! 

Did you know that today, April 28th, 
is ''National Superhero Day''...?!? 
Yes - Americans are delusional enough 
to have such a new holiday 
(and reason to slack up the job 
or simply not show up for the job!) 
and corporate America is sneaky enough 
to snoop in and try raking 
all the ''good publicity'' they can muster 
out of such a new ''holiday''...!

Read up now 
what Krispy Kreme 
is doing for all the 
superhero wannabees 
out there today...

On April 28, people of all ages will be celebrating 
National Superhero Day 
with capes and costumes 
in honor of their favorite superhuman hero or villain. 
(Okay now, first of all 
I can't believe they would want to 
celebrate villainy, too, 
on a day clearly labeled 
''Hero Appreciation Day''...!!! 
Americans are high on something 
alright - maybe not sugar either!)
Krispy Kreme® wants you to celebrate this occasion 
with a FREE dozen doughnuts 
for the real-life everyday heroes among us. 
No coupon necessary, 
just walk into our participating 
US & Canadian shops 
(excludes CT and Puerto Rico).
(Wow - not just one but a dozen! 
Like a dozen roses for the Lady In Distress; 
hence a dozen donuts for her hero 
who saves the day - and her candy a$$. 
LOL - AND... 
Somehow, Quebec is not excluded - 
this time! WOW...
So... Go to participating Krispy Kreme location 
(surely you meant to pluralize that, KK... hmm?)
in the US on April 28 
(what?  I thought Canada was in on it too?!?)
to buy a dozen doughnuts 
(a-HA; you've got to BUY something...!)
and get a FREE dozen 
(two dozen donuts - ugh! 
Even if it is a hard-working hero and all... 
It's overkill, we think...! 
''The Death of Donut-Eating Man'' 
coming out soon - 
with four variant glazed covers!)
Original Glazed® doughnuts 
(nothing too variant there, though; 
it's just the Original Glaze - only that one!)
to share with the unsung heroes in your life.
(what - no villains after all?) 
(In my book, THEY would deserve 
this most ignominious end: 
to die from donut overconsumption!)
Invite your friends to attend.
(hmm... I get the feeling this was a hastily 
composed text, no...? 
Unless it is purposefully starting to 
sound like a WAKE here...?!?)
Show your appreciation 
for the everyday heroes in your life 
by giving them 
your FREE second dozen of doughnuts. 
(That's great appreciation all right:
by ruining their heroic form, 
their digestive system,
their livelihood and health overall!!!
Of course you'll ruin yours, first -
by keeping a whole dozen for yourself!
But that's another story... eh?)
Join in the conversation with 
@KrispyKreme on Twitter 
#HeroAppreciationDay.
(Don't mind if I do...)
Go to http://KrispyKreme.com/ for store hours.
(Don't mind if I don't...)
*Offer not valid at grocery or convenience stores.
(ARGH - foiled, again!!!)

As if the Global Doughnut Day 
-and Chocolate Ice Cream Day-
weren't enough...

Out of 2.4 million ''invited'' for this ''event'' on FB
one point four million joined it gladly, 
much to the dismay of their own arteries...

(It could have been much worse, of course: 
it could have been a Tim Hortons ''event/idea''...!)

Now those dads who dress up as Arachnimen 
to signify their torment since losing custody 
-in the most immature way- 
will continue in earnest, spurred on 
by multiple sugar rushes...

Those fake Batty Men who get themselves killed 
like so many roadkills, on the highway... 
will keep pursuing this oddest of hobbies.

Kids themselves will be encouraged all the more 
to confuse Easter, Christmas and every other 
*legitimate holiday* 
out there - with Halloween 
as seen recently enough, 
in Washington DC:
Courtesy: Associated Press and JdeM

as we call them, here,  
on the luminous TLB Prime Network, 
will multiply all the more, 
as a direct result...?

It truly is like I said at the top;
I just can't believe this stuff sometimes... 
And you don't need to make it up; 
it makes itself up! 
And it keeps getting crazier...!

!!!

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