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Monday, January 20, 2014

Blue Monday, eh?

What does an airline company (desperate, as they all are, to boost their airfare prices *and* numbers of frequent flyers) know about true happiness? And its diametrical opposite, by sheer logical presumption? Nothing much, at all, surely! And yet, Sky Travel presumes to know it all (just like an airhead to do that - just look at Air France, Air Canada, British Airways, TAP, KLM and -argh- Sunwing! But that's another story...) and, so, it has declared that the second last Monday of January is... Blue Monday. 

Blue, as in sad, yes. Blue Monday, certifiably inspired by a plethora of 80s hits, such as New Order's tune that surely inspired the name of this veritable pseudo-social psychosis now...!  (Kudos to other tunes, too, though: such as Eddie Boyd, Buddy Guy, those unsightly Boomtown Rats and their hatred of the day, them Bangles, the Mamas, the Papas and any one of these execrable themes...!) For it is what it has become nowadays: a bonafide mass case of hysteria propagated by the media, such as The Huffington Post itself...! It is for sure: the Huff said that a scientist determined it!  He determined the 20th of the first month (usually an unusually cold day) is the most depressing day (aka the winter blues?) and he was so kind (I say - the generosity delineates a motherly female délicatesse here!)  to provide ample amounts of helpful tips how t fight back those awful blue feelings!

Boo-hoo... I feel so blue... Maybe if I spend thousands of dollars to be bothered by the customs agents of three different airports I will feel better - eh?

Hence, Sky Travel says it is now, which is at least a few weeks into the year - but some protein drink company Only God Knows claims it is forevermore to be pinned on the very first Monday of the year!  You just got drunk and shouted ''Happy New Year'' like a loon unaware of what's just around the corner; and you're as blue s a Smurf NEXT?  Aye, it makes complete absolute sense! A rude awakening is best when it comes the earliest it can... And, if we are to believe the protein drink dude, it was on January the 6th - not the 20th!   Said protein drink dude hails from... the U.K. too! What a coincidence! Must be something about their weather - or in their water, that makes them think this gloomy-doomy way? Anyway...!)

Upbeat Drinks used a highly-evolved scientific method to determine their date: tweets on Twitter. Millions of them. When enough of them were downright depressing, it found its day; the day to sell more and more of their drinks, rrrrright? After all, the strategy behind their scientific ''find'' is unabashedly obvious: isn't their website called promising you will be ''feelingupbeat.com'' - huh?

But let's come back to today - for dwelling on the past (even if only a day merely two weeks ago!) is a surefire sign of deep depression and doomsday-looming-on-the-horizon...  Back to Sky Travel's claim, for the finish here: the Sky Guy has, at least, the backing-up required for its claim... When a pseudo-shrink (others call them psychologists) comes forth with a veritable thesis on the why the third Monday of January has most definitely become the most depressing of all days throughout the year - you have got some credibility there!  The senior (some would say ''major'' - ha! Perish the thought!) and junior varieties of shrinks still lament that this whole concept of a ''Blue Monday'' trivializes depression, making it sound like a ''temporary thing'' everyone goes through, a weather thingie; once the sun comes back and temperatures rise again above zero (a Canadian concept now, for you Huffs south of the border!) everything will be fine again...  In a jiffy, it ''promotes the idea that depression is a minor condition'' - and such a notion is dangerous. It is dangerous on so many levels, too: people will leave a psychological trouble become worse and worse, with time... It is dangerous because depression can outright lead anyone down the path of auto-destruction. And it is dangerous for the financial well-being and overall feeling of prestige that them shrinks have - or aspire to maintain in the common joe's perception!  If everyone deals with depression on their own, what will happen to the shrinks?!?  They'll be the ones having a whole lot of Blue Mondays...! And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays...  (No ''TGIFs'' for you, Shrinko...!)

But that's another story...
Face the music now...


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