posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ @ 1:32 PM
Born in the Age of Aquarius, destined to seek out truths in many an art form, trained as a historian and a journalist but truly a prose-lover... Luciano is out to dispel any clichés and reinvent them all both to the tune of a little something called the truth as also to his own image - and being old-fashioned, he does not mind that distinction one infinitesimal tiny bit at all...! "There are two ways to spread the light; be the candle... or the mirror that reflects It." I have chosen to be the latter... okay? ~*~ "To be not only a seeker of light... but a dream weaver of light" ~*~ For as surely as the moon reflects the light from the sun, you and I can reflect the Light from Above - and be, indeed, the light of this world! ~*~*~*~ NOTE: THERE ARE COOKIES ~ from at least three parties~ ON ALL OF MY BLOGS! ~*~ accept it!
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The Case Against Santa Claus
Ten Reasons Christmas is Based on One Big Lie
http://savethehumans.com/instantgrat/thelist/santa_claus/index.shtml
by Jason Roth
1. There are no jolly fat men.
2. If he knows if you've been bad or good, he sure as hell ought to know that the polar ice caps are one %#&!*% place to build a toy factory.
3. Why would anyone outsource their manufacturing to the North Pole, when a nearly endless supply of elf-high labor is available to you in Asia and Africa? Granted, I'm sure the tax laws are more lenient in the North Pole, and Santa's elves are probably slaves that require little or no salary. But I guarantee you that his production time would go down if he used starving kids.
4. Satellite photographs clearly show evidence of the Great Wall of China, which doesn't produce even a single toy. A factory that produces enough toys for every Christian kid on the planet would undoubtedly make its way into Google Earth.
5. I cannot, and will not, accept the idea that Santa's workshop is underground. I would have accepted the possibility of an above-ground factory before the satellite era, even that Santa Claus is really the secret identity of Superman and that Superman produces toys in the Fortress of Solitude. But if you're asking me to believe that Santa Claus, a.k.a. Superman, a.k.a. Aquaman, has managed to build an underground, underwater toy factory, you can go %#&!*% yourself.
6. Elves did not make my Star Wars figures. Hasbro did. Are kids really this gullible? What the %#&!*% is Santa running, an international counterfeiting operation?
7. I realize that the whole Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer orthodoxy came into the picture later, and that the depictions of Santa with Rudolph are like the Book of Mormon and Jesus Christ with the Latter-Day Saints. But still, a lot of kids believe this %#&!*%. Unless Rudolph is the last remaining specimen of some kind of mad scientist experiment out of the The Fly, except that the Vincent Price/Jeff Goldblum character was messing with reindeers and lightning bugs, I find it completely implausible that one generation of genetic mutations would lead to a glowing proboscis. Why don't we give Rudolph sonar while we're at it?
8. Does the old bastard age or what? Everyone tells me he's got a white beard, so I would assume so. Are you trying to say that in the goofy, magical land of the North Pole, time stands still, for Christ's sake? If Santa lived on a toy factory that traveled through space faster than the speed of light, that would be a different story. In fact, it would be a hell of a lot funnier if kids had to wait until they were adults before Santa arrived with their toys from space. It would be even better if everything came freeze-dried.
9. The flying sleigh: don't even go there. But if we must, is it the sleigh that flies, or is it the reindeer? Moore's law clearly states (i.e., in the poem 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, by Clement Clarke Moore), "so up to the housetop the coursers they flew". (And note that there were only "eight tiny reindeer"; remember, this poem was written B.R.) Clearly, we're supposed to believe that the reindeer pull the sleigh, otherwise why bother shoveling reindeer %#&!*% 364 days a year? So, here's what I want to know. Every TV show and movie that's ever depicted these flying reindeer has always showed them moving their legs, as if they're running. Does a flying reindeer have to run in order to fly? Do its feet need to cause some sort of effect on the surrounding air? Are they doing something like a doggie paddle? What the %#&!*% are they doing? If you ask me, I think the flying reindeer are one big fabrication for kids who are skeptical about flying sleighs, but find it perfectly sensible for fat men and bottomless sacks of toys to be supported in mid-air by nothing but hooves. Might I add, this logic results in an infinite regress. How do you explain a flying reindeer? Why, magic reindeer shoes, of course! And how about those shoes? Yada, yada, yada, Santa Claus is really pulled by eight flying quarks and a red-nosed gluon. Intelligent design, my ass.
10. The whole "sliding down the chimney" thing is so easy to disprove, it's not even funny. Just design a human-sized mousetrap and place it in your fireplace on Christmas Eve. Leave some milk and cookies instead of cheese. If you find a dead guy in it the next morning and you're conspicuously gypped out of stocking stuffers, you'll have proven me wrong. Just make sure he has a real, white beard. Killing your own father doesn't count.
Ha Ha Ha
Very funny Jason.
Now put the hockey mask back ON and go play in the woods... ok?
*LOL*
Much more compelling case AGAINST "Santa" is... as follows!
WHY JESUS IS BETTER
THAN SANTA CLAUS
Santa lives at the North Pole ...
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh ...
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year ...
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies ...
JESUS supplies all your Needs. ~Amen
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited ...
JESUS stands at your door and knocks,
and then enters your Heart when invited.
You have to wait in line to see Santa ...
JESUS is as close as the mention of His Name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap ...
JESUS lets you rest in His Arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is
"Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?"
JESUS knew our Name before we did.
Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly ...
JESUS has a heart full of Love.
All Santa can offer is HO-- HO-- HO ...
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry" ...
JESUS says" Cast all your Cares on me for I care for you."
Santa's little helpers make toys ...
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts,
repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but ...
Jesus gives you Joy that is your Strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree ...
JESUS became our Gift and died on a tree.
~~~~~
It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember
WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in CHRISTmas,
Jesus is still the reason for the season.
Yes, Jesus is better,
He is even better than Santa Claus.
But then again - we knew that already!
It is ludicrous indeed to even pose the question - there was never any doubt on this matter...!
Not on MY mind anyway...!
The... ah... Original Case
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