Top Ten Most Ludicrous Things - EVER!

Pandemic Times

There's all kinds of sad and crazy things going on 

- simultaneously-  in the world right now ~ 

and one doesn't know where to even start 

when it comes time to sum up all the 

"...battiness." 

Sure, sure ~ you can still get naked 

BUT WATCH OUT FOR THEM 

MURDER HORNETS! 

Fine! THE RACCOON gets the top gig of the year; 

but if you're really looking for support 

the HONEY BADGER is your... honey?

"When the looting starts, the shooting starts!" 

- Drumpf 

*NOOOOOO - no bullets! No shooting! NO!" 

- Batman 

Yeah, like... 

where are all your MARVELS at NOW, 

Marvel Zombies?!? 

You running SCARED - 

ARE YA!? 

"First a bat virus, 

now riots and looting; 

we're turning into 

GOTHAM CITY!" 

- unknown 

AND DON'T FORGET: 

THE RIGHT TO OWN A FIREARM 

IS CONSTITUTIONAL... 

(quoting Moses on this one now; Charlton Heston!)

#2For1 Deal On The 14th

Richard Benjamin famously said it: 

in the introduction to his most-forgettable film 

"Saturday The 14th" (which co-starred his better half, 

Paula Prentiss - both stopped acting afterwards.) 

his voice is heard, off-camera, stating this simple fact - 

"things get bad on Friday The 13th 

but they get rrreally bad on Saturday The 14th!"

(we merely paraphrase here...!)

Well, this year of Our Lord 2018 

in the misbegotten USofA, 

Saturday The 14th is, also, 

(on top of being "the day after the 13th") 

two very incompatible things: 

AND

NATIONAL 

NUDE 

DAY! 

... okay, it might have been

*international* really...?!?

anyway!

That's one way to participate...?!? 

That is mighty unwise 

to have those two, er, 

"holidays" 

coincide like that...!!! 

IT IS NOT SAFE 

to eat your macaroni 'n' cheese 

HOT FROM THE STOVE 

when you have no clothes on!!! 

  YOU MIGHT BURN YOURSELF...  

  LIKE... ALL OVER!!!  

W.O.D. VS C.D.

... which is more popular?!? No, that's not it... 

 ''W.O.D.'' as in World Oceans Day (June the 8th!) 

and ''C.D.'' as in Cousteau Day (June the 11th!)

(and they follow very closely other such days: 

World Environment Day (June 5th!) 

International Biodiversity Day (May 22nd!) 

etcetera!)

All the AQUAMEN of make-believe remain absolutely mum on such days -verily, only Cousteau's grand-daughter, the apex aquaficionada Alexandra, said anything at all, as one would be certain that she would- aaaaand, well... that is just sad. 

Considering the abysmal state of our oceans nowadays, the constant hazards faced by its seafaring denizens, the threats to entire ecosystems, the deterioration of the all-important coral barrier reefs, the depletion of the fish stock and sea mammal population, the sadistic usage of the seas as a dumping ground by countless toxic industries AND several parts of the oceans having become a death trap with the dubious consistence of a soup of plastics WHICH WAS PROVEN TO BE THE CAUSE OF DEATH OF A WHALE, RECENTLY... well, it sucks that all of those sea heroes and ocean defenders are simply not in the mood to talk about it - ever - and not even on WORLD OCEANS DAY...!!! 

THE BLOOD OF COUNTLESS SEA CREATURES 

IS ON YOUR HANDS --- ALL OF YOU!!! 

THIS CANNOT CONTINUE --- 

IT SIMPLY CANNOT CONTINUE LIKE THIS 

Banning plastics is a start... a very necessary one. 

The question is... is it too late, already? 

The industrial age brought about the revolution of plastics - they replaced virtually everything that used to be made with other materials. They were good, cheap, reliable. But then their volatile (e.g. disposable) nature and easy-to-throwaway ''quality'' soon turned into a nightmare as these plastics started to show up ---resurface--- virtually everywhere in nature. Everywhere they shouldn't be present, most particularly in the oceans; and in cataclysmic quantities, at that. This has got to stop. But doubt lingers on many minds that such an AQUAPOCALYPTIC trend can be reversed now, this late into its very visible effects... 

Aye, it may be far too late already 

for all of the world's oceans 

and the Seven Seas... 

But that doesn't prevent our man 

-King of the Oceans, eh; K.O. is O.K. eh- 

to take out ALL of the anguish 

on that lousy representative 

of the industry of PLASTICS! 

He's a big-time freakish JERK... 

And a pervert, on top of that...!!! 

WITH NO RESPECT FOR SEA LIFE 

Aye, I tell you, verily... 

PLASTIC 

MUST DIE! 

ALWAYS SAY NO TO PLASTIC! 

No more single-use bottles - no more! 

(well - that's a start...) 

I mean... what about the 1L and 2L bottles? 

What A Ludicrous Year It Was!

The Lunacy Blog did a ''Year In Review - Mew-Mew-Mew'' thing 

(don't ask!) and the Lunacy is part of the family, y'know... 

Our sister site... brother blog... whatever! 

So... we must do something, too! 

Here goes: 

... yeah; so great, you wound up BANNED 

from social media - great going, Logan! 

2017 went pretty badly for this Logan, too...

BUT NOW BACK TO THE YEAR IN REVIEW:

no question about it: 

the key word for 2017 was... 

LUDICROUS! 

GDD VS CICD VS WWCD

Well... er... now those new made-up ''holidaze'' thingies 

are getting more and more convoluted - 

as they get to be redundant as well? 

Sharing OREOS...?!?

This annoying (and brand-new) Oreos campaign has been going around for too long already - without being blasted to crumbs (!) anywhere here, on the greater TLB Prime Network.  Well, time is up, yo; it's your turn, obsolete Oreos, to pay the pimento... the piper... and the price!

 Kacey Musgraves (“Merry Go Round”) is lending her voice to a new advertising campaign for OREO cookies, set to launch on TV July 8. The “Wonderfilled” campaign “celebrates the significant impact the simple act of sharing an OREO can have on your day,” according to publicity materials. Also participating in the campaign is singer/songwriter Owl City (aka Adam Young), who sings the new jingle “Wonder if I gave an OREO to . . . ?”
The marketing campaign will encompass TV, radio, digital, social media and cinema advertising.

Watch Musgraves' OREO spot here.

Aaaaaarrrgghhhh!!! 

Can you think of anything more 

annoying... filling... unfulfilling... 

than THAT song?!? 

(OK - I shouldn't have asked!) 

What could have possessed the likes of Kacey & Adam to misuse their musical talents with... this?!? And now look what they've done... Heck... Hear what they've done!!! It's EVERYWHERE! All media! And it will be such a long time before we hear the end of this one - this campaign is meant to LAST - otherwise this cookie monstah wouldn't have invested massively into this! Getting two golden voices for their Golden Oreos; whoa! They want this to pay off! BIG TIME! And it is going strong everywhere, in many languages too! Yikes! This is... brainwashing! Or worse...

One has to be strong, in the face of such gigantic mediatic pushes; see it for what it is! Because, deep down, you are all like me - I hope! You don't want nor need to find out what would happen if you -somehow; the details are never clear on the how of it- shoved down the throat of a werewolf, a vampire, an alien or the Yeti one of those damnable OREOS!!! I don't care to ever TRY! This is... beyond preposterous! We have nothing to GAIN from doing that! We're not selling this damn stuff; YOU are, Nabisco! Nabisco, a division of  Mondelēz International - not Monsanto, no! Doing quite well for itself, that division, I tell ya... And, besides the Martian Manhunter who guzzles them down quite joyfully and of his own free will, there's the Cookie Monster of course... and many more that, all together, have made this false pastry the best-selling cookie in the USA since 1912 - the year the Titanic sank! Must be a coincidence... eh?
Yeah - don't dwell too much on it now!

But Owl City... OWL CITY! The town burstling with fireflies... now SOLD OUT! Yikes. How sad! The deal tended to Adam Young must have been too sweet to refuse, I am sure... Take the money and run, Adam - run, with Kacey and your fireflies... You will have to! They will want to get you for this; all the parents of the kids you made obese with these cutesy-wootsy songs now...!

And they keep playing and, worse still, they keep asking the same damnable question: ''wonder if I fed an Oreo to this and that awful critter - what would happen NEXT?!?'' Gee. What a BAD idea! Trust me, no, really - TRUST ME: YOU DO NOT WANT TO FIND OUT ''WHAT HAPPENS NEXT'' in this scenario! And I've got a better question for you: ''PONDER WHAT THE... HELL IS IN ALL OF...THOSE GOD-AWFUL... COOKIES THAT THEY CALL... OH-OH-OH... OH-OH... OH-NO?!? I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU BUY THOSE?!? LEAVE THEM IN THE GROCERY STORE AND GO... TO A FINE BAKERY INSTEAD?!?'' --- ah, yesssss; now THAT's a good truthful jingle song, Adam! Read it... sing it... and weep! Like your fans are, surely...

In closing, I wonder who in blue blazes thinks up these campaigns?  For everyone with half-a-brain knows that indulging in an Oreo cookie craving (in any cookie craving, really!) is something to feel totally guilty about.  And indulging in them will not sweeten your life as much as it could shorten it! Most of those ''grocery shelf cookies'' are stuffed with chemicals in order to prolong ''shelf life'' as those type of industry creatures say (all about their talk, nurturing habits and disturbing quirks - here!) so there is no way anyone can truly snap into any of these things without the knowledge that they are consuming, in fact, an infinitesimal quantity of poison.  Infinitesimal though it may be - it is still poison!  Keep up the regurgitating of this kind of stuff and you will be paying the consequences later on...! (No pimentos, pipers or prices-per-say involved, this time: unless you're in the U.S. and absolutely have to pay any and all of your medical fees, usually exorbitant ones indeedy! But that is another -sad- story!)

Speaking of pimentos so much, though: 

they should have a pimento-filling for Oreos, too... 

It's the ol' sweet versus spicy thing, y'know? 

A hot middle, sandwiched by two sweet things...! 

I'd snap into one of those for sure...! 

But only once; and, yes, that is another story too...

YAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH...!!!

''Sonic Couch Tats'' is more like it...

Sonic wants you to stuff your kids up with their chemicals - and, as a consolation prize perhaps, you can bring home an overpriced piece of stuffed over-hyped super-hero schmuck fluff!

Whattadeal, folks!

Your choice, your pick: Superman, Flash, Aquaman, Plastic Man, Supergirl, Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Bizarro (!) etc...

And TRADING CARDS are available, too! Sheesh.

These sort of odd partnerships -and odd ideas for promotional stunts and collectibles resulting from it- have been seen before: the only true question here is why Sonic and not McDo, BK or the like?

Dairy Queen and the Bee Queen, with Catwoman cleverly tied in, would have been more natural.

Lindt dark chocolates, hawked by a darker Hawkman and Darkseid too.

Aquafina auctioned off by Aquaman, Mera and Naiad - for those hot dehydrating summer days, anyone...?!?

Martian Manhunter shoving those Oreos down everyone's throats...!!!

I could go on and recite, once again,
my all-time favorite example of these natural pairings
(Wonder Woman and Wonder Bra)
but I would be repeating myself then...
Let's avoid redundance - at least.

=======================

As you can see, it is not the mercantilism that annoys the most in these instances - it's the lack of logic in the choices that were made. Such as ''why include Martian Manhunter and not Green Lantern or that God-damn BattyMan again?!?'' but mostly such as ''why not pair up the right products with the right characters that make sense there...?!?''

Batty would be pushing Prozac in no time if such a logic was meticulously followed.

Or Ritalin.

Maybe Cialis and that other, far more famous blue pill, too...
But that's another story.
Let's not go there!

Oooooooo...!!!

So close... no matter how far?!? 

(You're not gonna sue over this use 

of your most precious lyrics now, 

you no-good, two-bit HACK 

from Lord Knows what hellhole... 

huh... JAMES??? 

Yeah - I mean YOU; 

METALLICA MAN!!! 

I hate you -and your cronies'- GUTS...!!!
Oh yeah - I hate you SO MUCH; 
you will always be unforgiven to me 
ALWAYS AND IN ALL WAYS! 
YEAH! 
You ungrateful blasted WRETCH! 
WE GIVE YOU ENOUGH DOUGH 
FOR YOUR LOUSY SHOWS 
and blasphemous albums also - 
MORE THAN ENOUGH! 
You just shut your yap 
when we want to share that crap around 
OKAY?!? 

HAR-HAR-HAR... 

Metallica sux anyways! 

But that's another story!)

It's 24 hours removed from 

ALL-HALLOWS' EVE...

And then there's All-Saints Day 

(not el dia dos muertes - ya ninny! 

Go back to Puerto Rico - stronzo!) 

AND THEN... it's the 

dreaded Day of the Dead. 

Uh... That's another story too! 

So let us take this opportunity tonight 

to take it easy... relax... and 

BURN SOME CD's 

AGAINST THE ARTISTS' 

WISHES! 

BWAH-HA-HA!!! 

No, no - just kidding here... I swear! 

Not doin' nothing here...!!!

I ssswear...!!!

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#fuckSOPA

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