Har-Har...!

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Can you believe this crap?
Like - once again I SIMPLY MUST ASK - who in blue blazes thinks up these pseudo-holidays?!? (A clear emphasis here on the DAZE and not the HOLY quality of these things, evidently...!)
Talk like a pirate day...
So, everyone is supposed to sprout into gibberish and rudeness, just like that, for no reason at all, wherever it may be?
At work, at school (well, that would actually be IMPROVING A GREAT MANY'S SPEECH PATTERNS THERE...!!! But I digress...) at the mall or even (yikes) at Church?!?
You want us to talk like a pirate in the House of God?!?
Hmm, well, pirates can be redeemed too, I am sure...
The only ones who CANNOT, I do believe, are Yankees, Devil Rays, Blue Jays and A's!
*LMBO*
Oops - I digressed again there, I think...
I hope all enjoyed this day... It only comes once a year for most of us!
Fishermen, riff-raff and bowery dwellers are the only ones who "talk like a pirate" 365 days a year... 7 days a week... 24 hours a day... and the only reason why they don't ACT like buccaneers, filibusters and high sea thieves at all, is simply because there's no way they could get away with it nowadays, with all the hidden cameras and forensic sciences and all...
Otherwise... it'd be total and utter chaos and mayhem out there, dudes!
Some pea-brained criminals will act like pirates despite all of this though...
Some were dumb enough recently to go into a convenience store, beat up the WOMAN behind the cash register and steal everything in it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!
They were arrested within 24 hours.
And they weren't going "har-har" either then...
...