Donuts... Awaaaaay!

I can't believe this stuff sometimes...

The ludicrousness writes itself up! 

Did you know that today, April 28th, 

is ''National Superhero Day''...?!? 

Yes - Americans are delusional enough 

to have such a new holiday 

(and reason to slack up the job 

or simply not show up for the job!) 

and corporate America is sneaky enough 

to snoop in and try raking 

all the ''good publicity'' they can muster 

out of such a new ''holiday''...!

Read up now 

what Krispy Kreme 

is doing for all the 

superhero wannabees 

out there today...

On April 28, people of all ages will be celebrating 

National Superhero Day 

with capes and costumes 

in honor of their favorite superhuman hero or villain. 

(Okay now, first of all 

I can't believe they would want to 

celebrate villainy, too, 

on a day clearly labeled 

''Hero Appreciation Day''...!!! 

Americans are high on something 

alright - maybe not sugar either!)

Krispy Kreme® wants you to celebrate this occasion 

with a FREE dozen doughnuts 

for the real-life everyday heroes among us. 

No coupon necessary, 

just walk into our participating 

US & Canadian shops 

(excludes CT and Puerto Rico).

(Wow - not just one but a dozen! 

Like a dozen roses for the Lady In Distress; 

hence a dozen donuts for her hero 

who saves the day - and her candy a$$. 

LOL - AND... 

Somehow, Quebec is not excluded - 

this time! WOW...

Happy, Capitaine Solidaire?)

So... Go to participating Krispy Kreme location 

(surely you meant to pluralize that, KK... hmm?)

in the US on April 28 

(what?  I thought Canada was in on it too?!?)

to buy a dozen doughnuts 

(a-HA; you've got to BUY something...!)

and get a FREE dozen 

(two dozen donuts - ugh! 

Even if it is a hard-working hero and all... 

It's overkill, we think...! 

''The Death of Donut-Eating Man'' 

coming out soon - 

with four variant glazed covers!)

Original Glazed® doughnuts 

(nothing too variant there, though; 

it's just the Original Glaze - only that one!)

to share with the unsung heroes in your life.

(what - no villains after all?) 

(In my book, THEY would deserve 

this most ignominious end: 

to die from donut overconsumption!)

Invite your friends to attend.

(hmm... I get the feeling this was a hastily 

composed text, no...? 

Unless it is purposefully starting to 

sound like a WAKE here...?!?)
Show your appreciation 

for the everyday heroes in your life 

by giving them 

your FREE second dozen of doughnuts. 

(That's great appreciation all right:

by ruining their heroic form, 

their digestive system,

their livelihood and health overall!!!

Of course you'll ruin yours, first -

by keeping a whole dozen for yourself!

But that's another story... eh?)

Join in the conversation with 

@KrispyKreme on Twitter 

#HeroAppreciationDay.
(Don't mind if I do...)
Go to http://KrispyKreme.com/ for store hours.
(Don't mind if I don't...)
*Offer not valid at grocery or convenience stores.

(ARGH - foiled, again!!!)

As if the Global Doughnut Day 

-and Chocolate Ice Cream Day-

weren't enough...

Out of 2.4 million ''invited'' for this ''event'' on FB

one point four million joined it gladly, 

much to the dismay of their own arteries...

(It could have been much worse, of course: 

it could have been a Tim Hortons ''event/idea''...!)

Now those dads who dress up as Arachnimen 

to signify their torment since losing custody 

-in the most immature way- 

will continue in earnest, spurred on 

by multiple sugar rushes...

Those fake Batty Men who get themselves killed 

like so many roadkills, on the highway... 

will keep pursuing this oddest of hobbies.

Kids themselves will be encouraged all the more 

to confuse Easter, Christmas and every other 

*legitimate holiday* 

out there - with Halloween 

as seen recently enough, 

in Washington DC:

Courtesy: Associated Press and JdeM

Stupor-Heroes 

as we call them, here,  

on the luminous TLB Prime Network, 

will multiply all the more, 

as a direct result...?

It truly is like I said at the top;

I just can't believe this stuff sometimes... 

And you don't need to make it up; 

it makes itself up! 

And it keeps getting crazier...!

!!!