the ludicrous blog: September 2013

This annoying (and brand-new) Oreos campaign has been going around for too long already - without being blasted to crumbs (!) anywhere here, on the greater TLB Prime Network. Well, time is up, yo; it's your turn, obsolete Oreos, to pay the pimento... the piper... and the price!

Kacey Musgraves (“Merry Go Round”) is lending her voice to a new advertising campaign for OREO cookies, set to launch on TV July 8. The “Wonderfilled” campaign “celebrates the significant impact the simple act of sharing an OREO can have on your day,” according to publicity materials. Also participating in the campaign is singer/songwriter Owl City (aka Adam Young), who sings the new jingle “Wonder if I gave an OREO to . . . ?”
The marketing campaign will encompass TV, radio, digital, social media and cinema advertising.

Watch Musgraves' OREO spot here.

Aaaaaarrrgghhhh!!!

Can you think of anything more

annoying... filling... unfulfilling...

than THAT song?!?

(OK - I shouldn't have asked!)

What could have possessed the likes of Kacey & Adam to misuse their musical talents with... this?!? And now look what they've done... Heck... Hear what they've done!!! It's EVERYWHERE! All media! And it will be such a long time before we hear the end of this one - this campaign is meant to LAST - otherwise this cookie monstah wouldn't have invested massively into this! Getting two golden voices for their Golden Oreos; whoa! They want this to pay off! BIG TIME! And it is going strong everywhere, in many languages too! Yikes! This is... brainwashing! Or worse...

One has to be strong, in the face of such gigantic mediatic pushes; see it for what it is! Because, deep down, you are all like me - I hope! You don't want nor need to find out what would happen if you -somehow; the details are never clear on the how of it- shoved down the throat of a werewolf, a vampire, an alien or the Yeti one of those damnable OREOS!!! I don't care to ever TRY! This is... beyond preposterous! We have nothing to GAIN from doing that! We're not selling this damn stuff; YOU are, Nabisco! Nabisco, a division of Mondelēz International - not Monsanto, no! Doing quite well for itself, that division, I tell ya... And, besides the Martian Manhunter who guzzles them down quite joyfully and of his own free will, there's the Cookie Monster of course... and many more that, all together, have made this false pastry the best-selling cookie in the USA since 1912 - the year the Titanic sank! Must be a coincidence... eh?
Yeah - don't dwell too much on it now!

But Owl City... OWL CITY! The town burstling with fireflies... now SOLD OUT! Yikes. How sad! The deal tended to Adam Young must have been too sweet to refuse, I am sure... Take the money and run, Adam - run, with Kacey and your fireflies... You will have to! They will want to get you for this; all the parents of the kids you made obese with these cutesy-wootsy songs now...!

And they keep playing and, worse still, they keep asking the same damnable question: ''wonder if I fed an Oreo to this and that awful critter - what would happen NEXT?!?'' Gee. What a BAD idea! Trust me, no, really - TRUST ME: YOU DO NOT WANT TO FIND OUT ''WHAT HAPPENS NEXT'' in this scenario! And I've got a better question for you: ''PONDER WHAT THE... HELL IS IN ALL OF...THOSE GOD-AWFUL... COOKIES THAT THEY CALL... OH-OH-OH... OH-OH... OH-NO?!? I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU BUY THOSE?!? LEAVE THEM IN THE GROCERY STORE AND GO... TO A FINE BAKERY INSTEAD?!?'' --- ah, yesssss; now THAT's a good truthful jingle song, Adam! Read it... sing it... and weep! Like your fans are, surely...

In closing, I wonder who in blue blazes thinks up these campaigns? For everyone with half-a-brain knows that indulging in an Oreo cookie craving (in any cookie craving, really!) is something to feel totally guilty about. And indulging in them will not sweeten your life as much as it could shorten it! Most of those ''grocery shelf cookies'' are stuffed with chemicals in order to prolong ''shelf life'' as those type of industry creatures say (all about their talk, nurturing habits and disturbing quirks - here!) so there is no way anyone can truly snap into any of these things without the knowledge that they are consuming, in fact, an infinitesimal quantity of poison. Infinitesimal though it may be - it is still poison! Keep up the regurgitating of this kind of stuff and you will be paying the consequences later on...! (No pimentos, pipers or prices-per-say involved, this time: unless you're in the U.S. and absolutely have to pay any and all of your medical fees, usually exorbitant ones indeedy! But that is another -sad- story!)

Speaking of pimentos so much, though:

they should have a pimento-filling for Oreos, too...

It's the ol' sweet versus spicy thing, y'know?

A hot middle, sandwiched by two sweet things...!

I'd snap into one of those for sure...!

But only once; and, yes, that is another story too...