Nothing Equitable About "Equifax"...!

Heck, there's nothing even remotely equivalent to REALITY, or so it seems...

But we are talking about Canadian reality - it might differ, true...
(Note the sarcasm in that line - PLEASE!)

These peeps over at EQUIFAX are the guys that supposedly clear those borrowers throughout Canada (and lenders alike?) so that the flow of dirty cash can occur - dirty in a mere figurative sense, of course! (Hey - no matter what the source of income, MONEY IS DIRTY, ok? I wouldn't use it to wipe my derrière - not even that, no! But I am digresisng now... again.)

The thing is, WHAT DO THE PEEPS AT EQUIFAX KNOW ABOUT ANYONE, ANY CORPORATE ENTITY OR ANYTHING AT ALL, REALLY? WHAT DO THEY KNOW? WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR INFORMATION FROM SO AS TO BE ABLE TO SAY: LEND TO THAT ONE, DON'T TRUST THAT OTHER ONE...?!?

From their poor track record, obviously, they know DIDDLY SQUAT.

They authorize entreprises to issue credit cards to totally unreliable individuals who then go deep into debt and, sometimes, commit atrocities out of sheer despair afterwards... They authorize other business to demand outrageous amounts of cash upfront in exchange for the services sought - otherwise, no services! They ask ridiculously high prepayments from those that they deem UNABLE TO PAY - that makes sense!

GREAT JOB, EQUIFAX!
You sure are foxy ones, EQUIFAX!
Make that oxy ones, actually...

I mean - WHAT THE HELL?
The bright lights there have narrow a clue how to look for actual information on people - and then how to interpret that information! Now, the government better not supply them any info behind our backs; God-damn Big Brother NO ONE EVER ASKED FOR...! But I'm digressing once more...

Equifax checks on two things, basically: if the individual has moved a lot in the past 10 to whatever amount of years. If someone has been residing as a co-renter for a steady and solid ten-plus years, but his or her name appears nowhere on any lease document, he or she is DOOMED! Because such reliability is not "official reliability" - noooooooo! Not to just any pair of eyes, it isn't...

Equifax furthers the lack of equity checks as it checks the number of years one has been working steadily at the same slavery shack... I mean, the same job. If you're with the same employer for, say, only six months - you're DOOMED again! Oopsy-do, Heaven forbid that they double-check, sometimes, to discover that some of those individuals have been working for only six months because their employer only EXISTS FOR EXACTLY THE SAME TIMESPAN...! Or, wow, what if they are SELF-EMPLOYED and self-reliable (heck, maybe even paid under the table? Not that it's my case, nooooo!) - too bad you missed the opportunity of dipping into THAT pot-of-gold, eh, credit card dudes! KEEP ON TRYING...?

(Granted, they'll check on the AGE of the applicant too; each Canadian province, as each U.S. of A. state, has a different idea on what "having attained the majority" means. Howcome those damnable cards are handed out to so many juvenile delinquents of consumerism then, HUH?!? It boggles the mind... Redefine "majority" already - especially in these days when 50$ are only worth 20 or less anymore; likewise for OUR AGES, pallies! Being 30 in the new millennium equates being 15 in the 1970s - yup, it is THAT bad! There's a fair equivalency Equifax can live with, I'm sure! But enough digressing again!)

One has to wonder though WHO is even more lopsided in their decisions, other than the Government itself - indeed? After all, Equifax's poor track record of decisions rendered stems directly from the top information source it has... For, sure enough, the Big Brotherly Creep has a hand in this after all, whether we want it or not: via one of its myriad agencies, it does! Nothing too private, but information it sure does divulge in spades so that Equifax and others like it can DARE to pass on judgment - though erroneous judgment it is, if not on most cases, ALL of the way in certain cases, FOR SURE! The Credit Information Agency (is it what they're called, really? MY GOD - THE C.I.A. rats on us! *LMAO* Actually, no - this is a mere Canadian subdivision, of course - and I only know, at blogging time, the French name it bears: "l'agence de renseignements sur le crédit" - so I went with my own translation of that! There!) and its vast (and flawed) data banks provide the basics on aaaaall Canadians so that credit rates are approved - or denied, boo-hoo! Personally, I don't give a rat's ass about ANY credit card; but seeing this ludicrous double-standard and its totally topsy-turvy INSANE results, had me, at first, in stitches... And then, grumbling in discontent at the sheer incompetence I saw before my eyes! They approve credit DEBT to compulsive spenders, based on all the WRONG ASSUMPTIONS - on a mere façade of stability! And then the poor suckers/lenders that went with the information provided by the agency AND relayed to them by Equifax CRY over the fact they wind up with outstanding bills ranging up there in the thousands; bills that are NEVER TO BE PAID UP, AS THE INDIVIDUAL DECLARES BANKRUPTCY INSTEAD! This is all so pathetically INSANE!

Meanwhile, the individual who is a wise consumer, but has just been so "unfortunate" as to have started a new position with a burgeoning company and taken up residence in a "coop" atmosphere for YEARS, will be DENIED a crappy card he or she never asked for in the first place: because, oftentimes, we will only go with the application to avoid discouraging the poor kid that is trying to sell those cards so hard at the local grocer, hardware store or in a shopping mall (all) desperate for returning customers...! They're all the more so now, desperate, in these times of recession and hardship... And wise consumers are often endowed with more than wisdom: they also have a heart! (I know I do; I feel for thee, desperate retailers! But less so for you, credit card dispensers! Sorry!)

Such an individual is, thus, deemed to be a "non-entity" rather than an "unreliable" consumer - which is simply twice as bad in that case! If there is little or no interest money to be made with you, you're a NON-ENTITY - you DON'T EXIST.
BEYOND OUTRAGEOUS - THIS IS LUDICROUS INDEED!
I estimate in the MILLIONS the money that they failed to make, all the MasterCards and poorly-advised Visas of this world (North American continent, really) whenever they denied a card to such wise, totally trust-worthy consumers deemed to be the opposite by the flawed evaluation and screening process in effect at places such as Equifax and company...!

Now that is truly and utterly pathetic! KEEP ON TRYING, AGAIN...?

But truly - isn't all this crazier than admissible, in an advanced society purported to be securely nestled in the computer age and all...? Not that I clamor for ALL personal information to be readily available; AT ALL... But to see such poor decisions being delivered routinely makes one want to... well, laugh actually.
Laugh uncontrollably - at the ridiculousness of it all!
And then I think of those who will justifiably be ticked off when overlooked (heck, let's not mince words here: DENIED... REFUSED... OSTRACIZED... REJECTED... FROWNED UPON!) and will therefore NOT gain admittance into a "select" card-carrying club of sorts (the debt-collecting club! *LMBO*) for all the PREJUDICIAL WRONG REASONS...
The fleeting and all-too-brief moment when one feels left out and unjustly branded "not good enough" or quite simply "not trustworthy" has got to be frustrating (on a scale of 1 to 10, it's something like... a 9, surely!) and one will feel irritated for all of 20 seconds... before one laughs uncontrollably again, that is! *LMAO*

For, in this day and age, the solution of choice is a debit card.
And if you're an Ugly American, gun-toting and full of yourself, you can carry cash all you want and forget all about that damn plastic! Money is dirty; but at that point, it matters not anymore...!

Take that, credit-lenders across North America!
You can continue discriminating topsy-turvily now - see if anybody cares!

This is truly ludicrous indeed.
And worthy of being lambasted too - but I chose to simply mock it, here, on the ludicrous blog instead!

The lunacy blog would have been fit for it too, though...
But I am digressing again now...

;)