Back off, "Heroes" - Here Are LUMINOUS HEROES! ;)

I am just about sick and tired of this new trend of the "rag-tag group of neophytical so-called heroes that are learning to use their powers for the greater good"...!!!
Rag-tag hero groups weren't popular in previous decades (JLA Detroit!) when it REALLY DESERVED TO BE... Why has this trend picked up so much NOW?!?
It is truly quite pathetic to see that this entire trend originated with the Disney release of The Incredibles (which stole from DC the name "Elasti-Girl" just like Marvel Comics Group a.k.a. Marvel Entertainment a.k.a. Marvel Properties a.k.a. Marvel Characters -depending if they are financially stable or on the verge of bankruptcy again- stole the name "Captain Marvel" from DC too... I wonder how it is that no one has stolen the name "Congorilla" from DC yet...? But I digress... *lol*)
And now, we see all over the place, et à toutes les sauces... (in other words, in all flavors too!)
From NBC's Heroes to the ordinarily cheap SRC's Invincibles - the trend seems to know no boundaries of logic, restraint or decency!

You want heroes so bad, people? You want FLAWED heroes that EVERYONE can readily identify with, HUH? I'll give you heroes... right here, RIGHT NOW!

First, let's hear it for OSTRICH MAN
(Better than a BATTY MAN any day o'the week! Eat your hearts out, DC!)


Next - SEPARATED MAN!!!


And then, make way for... GARBAGE MAN!


Let's upgrade the image of this team right now with... MAN RAY!


And let's bring BACK the REAL IRON MAN while we're at it!
(No - I don't fear you, Johnny Marvel! Nor Stan The Man; nor Joe Q! ;)


Now we really need a SOUL MAN around here


And why not a HURDY GURDY MAN with that - eh?


Some wisdom required on this team - summon forth OLD MAN


Guess we could also use a MAN WITHOUT FEAR...


I'd rather team up with SOLITARY MAN though...


By the same token, his sidekick, LONELY MAN, is a shoo-in too!


In the same vein, we can let in the SON OF A PREACHER MAN
(Hey - the damnable Defenders let in the sicko Son of Satan into their less-than-venerable ranks!)


Oh yeah - we do need RAMBLIN MAN on our side!


A hard-as-nails WORKING MAN can be of service too...


One cannot go wrong with BETTER MAN (or can we...?!?)


I'd let in the "MISTERY MAN" - but he has to learn how to spell (not to mention smell) a MYSTERY... y'know what I mean?!?
(Even the loser Mystery Men knew at least how to do just that!)


Some down-to-earth earnestness now with... SIMPLE MAN!


I doubt he's available - for he is with The Specials - but maybe we can add some levity here by adjoining ourselves a MONKEY MAN...?
(He'd be our Least - I mean, Beast! ;)


Why not give a chance to HOOCHIE COOCHIE MAN while we're at it...?
(A chance... at redemption!!!)


And, just to cater for the troops, PIZZA MAN...


The debate is on whether or not to admit INTOXICATED MAN in our midst...


I guess his name would help our cause, merchandizing-wise...
WANTED MAN?!?


Finally, for our foils - the BLUE MAN GROUP!


And my personal arch-nemesis - BURGER MAN! *lol*


I tried to find a "GOOD MAN" to be a part of this team - it just didn't work!
Good guys finish last and have little drawing power anyway - RIGHT?